I had a dream before- of playing music for a living!
I guess I wasn't dreaming because I really tried my best to fulfill it, young and helpless as I was.
At 15, it became very clear in my head that I wanted to sing and play songs for people. I like it! I was very happy even singing and playing songs to myself for hours...
Unfortunately, there wasn't money in the family for me to study music. I decided to help myself instead of blame my parents, so I started working at 15 to save some money- saved all the way to 24, where I finally managed to record my own songs. (Back then, it was very hard to record your own songs unlike now, because technology was bad and gadgets were super expensive). Ironically, these songs I recorded were all songs played on the guitar, which I picked up at 23. Thus, those songs I recorded do sound a bit kiddy-like for primary school students- I recalled some of you commenting when I played those songs for you all. I should really record songs using the piano because I learnt piano since 5 and I am better at piano, although I know I am not like a fantastic player. But since songs done on piano needs a lot more effort and thought than the guitar, I took the easy way out to just play and sing on the guitar instead.
But anyway, while listening to this song today, I wondered to myself and also to you:
DO YOU HAVE ANY DREAMS?
Something that makes your heart race a little faster at the thought of it?
Something that makes you willing to give up some things for others?
Something that makes you strong and determined?
Something that gives you the ability to endure and work very hard for it?
Something that you would do alone despite what others think or say about you?
Something that might make you lonely if you do it but you know you will be happy because it is so important and matters so much to you?
It's important to have dreams in our lives because
we only live this life ONCE.
There must and should be something you want to achieve, that at 55years old when you look back, you can be proud that you have led a brave and adventurous life!
This dream kept me working and working since 15 years old. Be it the goal of earning a lot of money to buy instruments and recording equipment, join singing classes, read up more so I can write better lyrics, get into top schools so I can be more cultured etc. I think I was probably crazy and stupid. I really planned a lot of little things but I did not do anything big. I hated queuing up to join singing competitions, so I did not join. (oh, to be fair, my best friend did actually drag me to an ocean butterfly record company competition where I couldn't really care about the makeup and the clothes I was wearing...got into top few percentage and got selected for courses but I did not want to spend the huge amount of money (and I didn't have money anyway..haha!) so I didn't join the class) I was too cool and stubborn, haha. And now.. at 26.. nah.. I don't want to be a singer anymore.
In my opinion, I tried all that I could do..Although there were certain things I couldn't change, certain people who distracted me, many mistakes I made, wrong people whom I trusted too deeply, in the end I really have myself to blame only because my life is in my own hands. I had a character too careful, a heart too cowardly, sometimes too lazy and not trying even harder.
Yes. So although at 26, I am a teacher not a musician, I would say I am happy because I tried to do what I think was the best I could give. If I didn't try, I would have wasted living, lived a life with regrets.
I still enjoy music a lot and I am still trying to pen songs for fun although my current job is draining me of time, energy, creativity and life. There are different positions for different people in this world. There are only a few people who make it to the very top, and even if a person doesn't make it big and famous, it doesn't mean the person is a failure. I am not at the top. I am not famous. I am not powerful. But I am satisfied because I am living just the life I want to live.
We need to decide how we want to live. But first, we must
1. Discover what we are happy at doing
2. Overcome our fears and fight for the life we want!
Perhaps in the end, we don't get there...
But the joy really comes from the process of trying hard
and fighting to live a life where you remain
true to yourself
In fact, sometimes life gets even better because while pursuing for the dream, you will discover new things you didn't know you were actually good at!
I discovered teaching! However, although I like teaching in a way... there is a chance one day I will take a break from teaching- when I cannot take it anymore...
But I will never really stop playing and singing and writing songs..
I am not giving up my childhood dream in a way... :)
"WHAT'S YOUR DREAM?"You only live once.
"EXPLORE! OVERCOME! TRY! AND TRY!"
You only live once.
"Work for your future today. Tell someone they matter to you today."
Because You only live once, time cannot be reversed, and people won't be there all the time.
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